TEOTWAWKI inc.
.338 Win Mag
Oh, the Forms You'll Fill!
A DOGE Poem in the Style of Dr. Seuss
Oh, the forms you'll fill! The lines you'll stand!
The stamps you'll need! Oh, isn't it grand?
At the Department of Government Efficiency, see,
They promise to help both you and me!
With papers in stacks, so tall and so wide,
And people just waiting (and waiting) inside.
They say, "Take a number! Sit down in a chair!
We'll call you up soon! (Just wait over there.)"
Then—ZOOM!—in a flash, with a wag and a grin,
Came DOGE, the great fixer, all set to begin!
"Much slow! So wait! No time to delay!
I’ll fix this up fast! I’ll speed up today!"
He stamped and he sorted, he typed with great speed,
He made things go faster—just what folks need!
But the moment one problem was neatly all done,
Another appeared—oh no! Not just one!
For rules must be followed, and boxes must check,
And every last paper must pass an inspect!
So round and around, the process must spin,
Though DOGE tries his hardest, will it ever begin?
So if you have business, and hope things go quick,
Be ready, my friend, for a bureaucratic trick!
For the forms will keep coming, the lines will grow long,
But DOGE will keep trying—so brave! So strong!
A DOGE Poem in the Style of Dr. Seuss
Oh, the forms you'll fill! The lines you'll stand!
The stamps you'll need! Oh, isn't it grand?
At the Department of Government Efficiency, see,
They promise to help both you and me!
With papers in stacks, so tall and so wide,
And people just waiting (and waiting) inside.
They say, "Take a number! Sit down in a chair!
We'll call you up soon! (Just wait over there.)"
Then—ZOOM!—in a flash, with a wag and a grin,
Came DOGE, the great fixer, all set to begin!
"Much slow! So wait! No time to delay!
I’ll fix this up fast! I’ll speed up today!"
He stamped and he sorted, he typed with great speed,
He made things go faster—just what folks need!
But the moment one problem was neatly all done,
Another appeared—oh no! Not just one!
For rules must be followed, and boxes must check,
And every last paper must pass an inspect!
So round and around, the process must spin,
Though DOGE tries his hardest, will it ever begin?
So if you have business, and hope things go quick,
Be ready, my friend, for a bureaucratic trick!
For the forms will keep coming, the lines will grow long,
But DOGE will keep trying—so brave! So strong!