'Twas the night before Christmas, when up on the hill,
Democrats were drinking from the impeachment swill;
The charges were pending if one could be found,
In hopes that the President could soon be bound;
The members were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of impeachment danc'd in their heads,
And Adam all bug-eyed, and ready to snap,
Thinking of a way to build a better mouse trap
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
And out of the sky fell the fat Gerry Nadler.
I rushed to the window and broke through the glass,
He lay deep in the ground like a giant land mass.
The moon in the sky and the fresh fallen snow,
Showed a hole that could've been made by a backhoe;
When off to the side of the globular sphere,
Were 8 tiny women none known as austere,
With a cranky old driver, not lively nor quick,
It was Nancy Pelosi astride a broomstick.
More rapid than taxes her lackeys emerged,
She hooted and hollered, "Come on girls" she urged.
"Now! Cortez, now! Wilson, now! Waters and Pressley,
"On! Omar, on! Norton, on! Tlaid and Jackson-Lee:
They made such a din when they began to holler,
"Down with Trump, we want a person of color."
"Now smash away! smash away! smash away all!"
"We want free stuff, We don't want no stinkin' wall!"
As dry leaves before a lighted match lament,
The eight imposters, showed their malcontent;
So up to the White House the invaders stomped,
If this were the swamp then they were surely the swamped:
And then up above, came a voice on the slate roof
T'was the voice of Schiff saying, "We don't need no proof,"
"We've got hearsay and rumor and third hand knowledge,
We'll get rid of Trump and the Electoral college."
Someone ran from the doorway, all in a huff,
"An old guy's in here stealing all of our stuff."
He was dressed quite shabby, and his hair flew about,
His demeanor was angry, his lips in a pout.
He carried a large sack slung over his shoulder;
Filled with loot from the current office holder,
"Tax the rich" is my favorite expression,
I, of course, am the notable exception."
He had silver and gold and numerous jewels,
He'd even taken a few cordless power tools.
Into his limo he stored his great mound of stash;
"I'll turn all of this into a mountain of cash."
Amid all his riches he remained quite surly,
"With Socialism, you need to get in early."
Leaving the curb, his limousine tires did squeal,
Counting his cash, he yelled to all;
"Merry Christmas suckers, this is my Green New Deal."